issue #195 - a heavy hearted one

Author

Hitha Palepu
October 08, 2023

In the wake of this weekend’s attack on Israel, I want to say:

  • Killing innocent civilians is always wrong. I can’t believe I have to say this, but it apparently needs to be reaffirmed.

  • Hamas’ terrorism needs to be called out as such.

  • I stand with Israel’s sovereignty and right to defense. I stand with innocent Palestinians in Gaza who have been denied the right to fair elections and proper representation.

  • I stand for a safe and secure 2 state solution.

  • Many of us have turned a blind eye on the longtime oppression and atrocities waged on innocent Palestinians in Gaza, both by Hamas and the policies of the current Israeli leadership.

  • I condemn anti-Semitism and Islamophobia in equal measure, and religious fundamentalism and militarization above all.

  • We must separate innocent Israelis and Palestinians from their leaders and take care in the words we use and what we share.

I am all too aware of how little I know about this, and that’s not okay. I will be reading People Love Dead Jews: Reports from a Haunted Present and A Day in the Life of Abed Salama: Anatomy of a Jerusalem Tragedy to learn what life is actually like in Israel and Palestine. I encourage you to join me as well.

Smart Snacks

note - this was curated over the week, prior to the weekend’s attacks. If you need a dose of lightness, click through and enjoy them. If you need to log off to protect your peace, please do so.

Victoria Beckham, comedy icon - in defense of re-reading books - for me, October is rep-Philadelphia-sports-clothing-and-have-heart-palpitations month - loved and learned so much from this episode of South Asian Trailblazers - all hail Mama Kelce and her superb advice - my friend Tina’s travel collection is now available at Target! These are my favorites - have you washed your makeup brushes lately? - going to be looking out for glimmers this week - if you need some comfort, might I suggest getting a pair of my favorite pajamas and my favorite tea?

What We Read This Week

Hitha

Not Necessarily Rocket Science by Kellie Gerardi - I’ve boomeranged back into space nerd mode, and finally picked up this book. For anyone who wants a great primer on the space age (explained clearly and easily) and learn how a non-scientist made her way into the sector, it’s a fantastic read. Kellie Gerardi is a phenomenal science communicator and future astronaut, and also just a great career guide for women in the workplace.

Space Series by Sara L. Hudson - don’t judge these books by the covers - they are so smart, steamy and a comfort re-read of mine. The women are badass scientists/writers/leaders, the men fall immediately and head over heels in love with them, and it’s a series I keep coming back to time and time again.

This Week’s Top Reads:

The Rest Of This Week’s:

Your Questions, Answered

Gift ideas for bridal party! Hoping to spend under $200 for each.
There is nothing better than this Weezie short-sleeved robe - it’s super soft, very breathable, and the monogram makes it special enough for a gift.

The Cuyana travel set is one of my go-to gifts to give- it’s timeless and beautiful and will last forever. Also can be monogrammed!

Blankets are a welcoming gift, and nothin is better than something personalized from BaubleBar or something cashmere form Quince. I own and love both of these blankets.

I also love giving books - any of these can be accompanied with a book you pick specifically for the bridesmaid, with a note inside on why you picked that book for her.

What’s a fall treat and song you’re currently relishing?
Birch Coffee spiced latte and Dunkin’s pumpkin donut are my favorite fall treats.

I’m listening to the Practical Magic soundtrack on a loop right now!

New-ish here, which is your favorite sports team/sport to watch?
WELCOME!

I very rarely miss a Philladelphia Eagles game, or a Phillies postseason game.

I love tennis and try to watch the quarterfinals on during Grand Slams, and always the finals.

I’m 50/50 on F1 Grand Prixes right now.

I want to attend more NWSL and WNBA games (and I want them to have the same kind of airtime/videography as the men).

Do you believe in quietly quitting?
Quiet quitters - when employees continue to put in the minimum amount of effort to keep their jobs, but don’t go the extra mile for their employer - make up approximately 50% of the workforce. It’s something that managers and leaders need to really think long and hard about how to prevent or manage against (and if they expect their employees to go beyond their contracted duties, they should be compensated for them or it be recognized and be considered for a promotion or raise).

As a manager, I think a lot about creating a culture rooted in clear expectations, open communication, and trusting people to complete their work based on deadlines and check in as needed. My goal is to create an environment where no one feels the need to quietly quit - during intense times, the team is all hands on deck, and in slower times, I purposefully ensure they can enjoy that downtime.

I also want to recognize that women - and women of color especially - are burdened with the expectation of doing the extra work of preparing refreshments for meetings, drafting the meeting minutes, prepping birthday or other celebrations for the team. Doing it doesn’t benefit their personal trajectory within the company, as it’s not material to the role they were hired for. But not doing it may create the perception that they’re not a team player- so in this regard, I fully support quiet quitting and doing the contractually obligated for your specific role.

Affordable but cute outfits to wear to Bravocon?!
If I were heading to Bravocon 2023 and shopping on a budget, here are some of the outfits I’d pick:

I’d go with a pair of embellished shoes (the silver Air Maxes are my favorite), and this hair clip for every outfit.

Tips for overcoming imposter syndrome?
Watch this clip from Reshma Saujani’s commencement speech first (I come back to it often)

My hype file is part of my toolkit to remind myself of who I am and shift my perspective away from comparing myself to others - it’s an album in my phone filled with screenshots of emails or texts or DMs from friends and colleagues with praise or compliments or gratitude, and I tend to spend little missives from my friends’ own hype files when I’m feeling a wave of imposter syndrome - and it works.

Something I write about in We’re Speaking is a quote from VP Harris’ mother - “don’t let anyone tell you who you are. YOU tell them who you are.” In my own experience, imposter syndrome hits when I start believing other people’s opinions of me over my own self. And I know this is going to sounds woo woo, but this is when I take a bath or shower and literally tell myself good things about myself. Superhuman also has some amazing pep talk meditations that I rely on when I can’t take a bath or shower.

With all my love and a heavy heart,
HPN