issue #172 - the one on new narratives

There are many reasons I love Star Trek - space exploration, adventures, the way the franchise has evolved while staying true to Roddenberry’s vision, Captain Kathryn Janeway (my favorite captain, period).

The new stewards of the franchise continue to write new narratives that are ahead of their time and eventually become the norm. And the final season of Picard is doing this by shining a light on fatherhood - both in the ecstasy and agony of Captain Riker’s fatherhood journey, and Picard never having experienced it.

There is a gross generalization I’ve observed in stories are centered on women of a certain age (that are usually written by men). Her story inevitably gets centered on motherhood (or her choice or circumstances to be childfree). Her reproductive choices often become the entire story and her many other qualities and accomplishments are written in as an afterthought. Captain Janeway is the first time I saw a captain who happened to be a woman and her reproductive choices being accepted without question. It was a powerful sight for my nine year old self, just as watching Riker grapple with fatherhood and an impromptu adventure with Picard is for my 39 year old self.

I didn’t mean for this to become a ringing endorsement for Picard or the new Trek series, but it is and frankly they made Paramount+ a worthwhile investment in our home.

It’s such a stark contrast to a narrative I’m quite tired of, which is the infantilization of women or anything women enjoy. While men “optimize their lifestyle via biohacking,” women diet. The romance genre, despite being the most profitable sector of book publishing, continues to be disrespected and devalued whereas obvious thrillers are lauded and given acclaim. Women and sports is perhaps one of the clearest examples of this - women’s sports receive a fraction of investment and airtime that men’s collegiate and professional sports do, and only women fans have their loyalty and fandom questioned in a way a man’s is just accepted.

Formula 1 is a perfect example. I’m a new fan to the sport, thanks to Drive to Survive and Lauren Asher’s Dirty Air series last year. And while I do find many of the drivers handsome, it is the last reason why I’m captivated by the sport. I love studying the engineering of the vehicles and the rules the FIA sets up every year in an attempt to level the playing field. Each Prix’s track brings its own challenges that different teams’ cars are suited to. And while we are very much living in the Verstappen era, anything could happen in every race.

Unlike other sports, I’ve found an incredible community of F1 fans who also happen to be women, who analyze and study all aspects of the sport and share thoughtful commentary. Lily Herman’s podcast Choosing Sides and newsletter Engine Failure is superb in learning about the sport, and I firmly believe Haas should hire Kate Lizotte and Nicole Sievers from Two Girls 1 Formula to run their sponsorships. Abby Rakshit and I DM multiple times a week about the latest news (especially about F1 Academy and our mutual love for Susie Wolff). I’ve never found my people within a sport’s fanbase so quickly, especially as a newcomer.

Which makes headlines like this one - The Fangirlification of Formula 1 - so frustrating. The article scratches the surface of this issue - why women fans of F1 are infantilized as “fangirls” - while also analyzing how women’s fandom has been a significant growth driver of F1’s popularity in the United States. And I fully understand why media companies write the most triggering headlines for their articles (to get those clicks and that revenue, obviously), but it contributes to the existing narratives that hold us all back.

I’m very proud of Herman, Lizotte, Sievers, and Rakshit for creating the spaces for us to enjoy the sport (and all aspects of it) in a warm, welcoming environment, and I believe these spaces will ultimately shift this very tired, very old narrative into a modern direction.

Here’s to writing and embracing the new narratives, rejecting the old ones that no longer reflect us, and to moving forward. Even if we’re moving as slowly as the Titan at the end of the latest episode of Picard, or Leclerc on lap 41 (very slow).

What I Read This Week

• Zodiac Academy 7: Heartless Sky by Caroline Peckham and Susanne Valenti - this one GUTTED me (so much that I posted the screenshots of my texts with Becca to Instagram, and it knocked me off my usual routine). I’m bereft and hopeful and slightly destroyed by this book, and I jumped right into book 8 because I’m a masochist. There is apparently a final book being published this year, so if you’re someone who needs closure on highly engaging series that will suck you into their world - wait. But if you choose pain, join me in the agony and ecstasy of magic and war and all kinds of creatures.

You can find my highly addictive spicy fantasy favorites below, and add your recommendations in the comments!

What Everyone Else Read This Week

Olivia

• For the Love of Organs: A Quasi-Educational Collection of Poems by Dr. Christine Borst and Dr. Gregory Borst - This children's book written by a therapist and her husband, who happens to be a doctor, is the perfect blend of children's book for me: great illustrations, laugh out loud funny, and educational! My children and I love to read this over and over - and even I didn't know some of the science explained in the book! A fun read and I love to give it as a gift.

Qudsiya

• Local: A Memoir by Jessica Machado - This is a beautifully written memoir about what it’s really like to be a “local” in Hawaii. I particularly appreciated the historical context about colonial exploitation on the Hawaiian islands, mixed in with the coming of age story of a rebellious, quirky, and thoughtful young woman navigating her multitudes. As a person of Indian origin who is Muslim, and someone who has navigated the worlds of sightedness and blindness, I really identified with this story, especially the ways in which our education often obscures our own histories, leaving us to fumble around and perhaps find them later in life. For me, this manifested as the erasure of disability history in school, and for Jessica, it was the absence of Hawaii’s extractive colonial back story.

Top #5SmartReads Of The Week

• New Study Shows 13 Words New Yorkers Say Differently (Thrillist)

• Consumers are reaching a breaking point (Vox)

• linchpin habits: the keys to making goals stick (Jess Lively)

• To Mask or Not to Mask? COVID-19 Experts Share Their Advice (NPR)

• Inside Haas: How F1's American team cut ties with Nikita Mazepin and his oligarch father (ESPN)

The rest of the week’s reads + last week’s (and conversations!) are below:

Monday February 27, 2023Tuesday February 28, 2023Wednesday March 1, 2023Thursday March 2, 2023Friday March 3, 2023

Your Questions, AnsweredYou can find my discount codes here, and my shopping recommendations here.

How are you fighting to limit dopamine hits? 

My phone stays in my room when I’m getting the kids up and ready, and I put it on the charger when I’m with them in the evenings. This helps me stay engaged with them and minimize the number of dopamine spikes/crashes in those important times of the day. 

I delete social apps from my phone on Thursday evening and download them again on Tuesday morning, and I’m not going back to TikTok because I struggle with self-regulating on that app right now. 

I use the Forest app to basically lock myself out of my phone when I need to do focused work. I also find my walking pad work sessions to be the most productive and focused times of my day (because my brain has engaged in moving my body safely while working, I don’t get as distracted and thus less likely to check social media). 

Taking work activity-aligned breaks really helps me stay in a flow state and I’m less likely to pick up my phone to scroll. 

Here’s what I do:

• Writing or other creation work - I needlepoint or color when I need a break

• Emails - I send a quick text, email to a friend telling them I’m thinking about them, or scan my present app for upcoming events and schedule cards or gifts

• Research- I listen to an audiobook for a few minutes and walk, or do a viparita karani mediation via the Superhuman app

Things you’re glad you did in your second and third trimesters…

• Therapy at The Motherhood Center

• Exercise (obé has a great prenatal program- use code HITHAMONTH to get 1 month free!)

• Acupuncture at WTHN (in my final few weeks, I went every week after therapy)

• Took myself to some Broadway matinees

• I know this is immensely privileged, but lining up family and outside care for those first weeks post-birth was a huge help, and helped lighten my mental load.

Hi! Any recs for fun, casual drinks & light dinner near the Beacon Theater?Playa Betty’s is right next door and definitely fits the bill. But here are some other spots that are close by that I like as well:

• Covacha

• Sala Thai

• Sushi Nonaka

• Salumeria Rosi

• Crave Fish Bar

All of my travel and NYC recommendations are saved in the Out Of Office app, where you can make reservations immediately as well!

Vacation suggestions with a 4 month old?Aruba is beautiful and so chill! We stayed at the Ritz-Carlton there in a suite with club access- never left the property but just chilled and it was really nice. 

I’ve heard excellent things about the Kimpton Seafire resort and their babysitters in particular! 

The babysitters at Palmaïa are amazing (they bring the babies to the kids club when they're awake) and I am very obsessed with that property. 

DM my friend Nancy (A travel advisor and mom who’s traveled all over with her kids from when they were babies) to help plan the perfect trip!

What does success look like for you in 10 years time? Where do you want to be, who is by your side?If my life in 10 years is like my life now (with a little more time freedom), that’s success. With said time freedom, I’d like to be more involved with the nonprofits I’m on the board of and focus on making a bigger impact through advocacy work. 

I’d still be here, in my home with my family (and to spend more time in PA with my parents, who I hope are still healthy and alive then!)

I am so privileged and lucky to be living my dream life, truly. I don’t take a single day for granted and feel immensely grateful for the privilege that got me here.

Have a wonderful week!

xo,HPN