Ask Me Anything - July 10, 2020

July 09, 2020

This is the first Ask Me Anything here on the website, moving it over from Instagram. I’ll get things started with a few questions shared from Instagram, and please include your new questions in the discussion below!

This will be moved to the paid offering in the coming weeks. If you’d like to access future Q&As - both to ask questions and to view my answers to other questions.

Any product or book links are affiliate links, which pay me a small commission on every purchase but bear no additional cost to you. Just wanted to make that clear, and I thank you for your support - time and money - in my content and platform. It means the world to me, truly.

Tips on how to make friends with other POC women/mums with limited time and COVIDMaking friends in a non-pandemic time and without little humans tugging at you is hard enough. I feel you, mama. Many of my strongest mom friendships have come through Heymama, a community of amazing, driven moms. They are offering 1 month trial memberships right now, and their Mama Matchmaking events are a wonderful place to meet and connect with new women during this insane time.

Disclosure - I am an investor in Heymama, and one of their NYC ambassadors

Any facial sunscreen that works for a WOC and doesn’t show up pasty on our skin?Mineral sunscreens are the ones that will often leave the white cast, given that they are a physical barrier protecting your skin from the sun. Chemical sunscreens are equally as effective and go on clear, but many people get concerned by the ‘chemical’ title and usually avoid it.

The two best mineral sunscreens for face are Supergoop’s Mattescreen SPF 40 or EltaMD’s UV Elements Tinted Broad-Spectrum SPF 44. Both brand’s chemical sunscreens are also excellent as well - Supergoop’s Unseen Sunscreen SPF 40 and EltaMD’s UV Clear Broad-Spectrum SPF 46.

How to stand your ground about quarantining with desi (South Asian) family that wants to get together?Oooof! This is hard given how tight knit and the importance of literal face time is with our community.

I don’t have specific advice, but this was our experience:

We didn’t gather with ANYONE ELSE until June. The only other people we’ve seen are my in-laws (who have been quarantining as well save for the weekly grocery shop), my cousin and her family who have been doing the same, and the auntie who cares for Rhaki.

No one has gathered outside of this little pod, and we waited a long time before we got together even though we wanted to much sooner.

I wish I had a magic phrase or script for you to share with your family on gathering, but just get them to wear their masks to protect themselves. I feel like it’s easier to adopt than staying 6 feet apart. And good luck, and I’m sorry I couldn’t be of more help!

What’s the link to your Amazon shop? I love your recs!Thank you! Here it is, but be warned that I haven’t updated it in months.

Did you have gender disappointment? Will you try for a third?I always had a feeling that I would give birth to only boys. I certainly wanted a girl, and had the fantasy of raising a feisty, strong, bold little girl like I was. We waited until birth to find out the gender with Rho, and we opted to find out with Rhaki.

I will admit that I was bummed when I found out, but it had nothing to do with Rhaki. It was mourning this fantasy of raising a daughter that I had for so long, and putting that to rest.

We have our hands full with our two amazing boys. We have no plans for a third child.

Favorite sustainable/ethical clothing brands?Encircled is a longtime favorite of mine. Every part of their supply chain thoughtfully planned with high ethical and sustainable standards. My favorites are their t-shirts, the jacket/dress, the dressy sweatpants, and I just preordered their t-shirt dress! (my first pair of sweatpants were gifted, but I’ve purchased two more pairs on my own)

BURU works really hard to work with the factories in China that meet the highest ethical standards (Morgan and her husband have traveled to China multiple times a year to oversee production personally), and their Pink Label line is manufactured in their own micro-factory in LA with sustainable textiles. Many of their housecoats have been cut to order to reduce waste, and they make the most comfortable masks with leftover fabric.

Cuyana has been a longtime favorite, and my leather tote still looks brand new despite putting it through the ringer for 6 years. This dress is a hero item of mine, and I never travel without my travel cases. For weekend getways, my leather weekender is perfect. (The leather weekender and travel cases were gifted a number of years ago)

Rec Room is a new favorite, but their dresses are as comfortable as they are stylish and I’ve been living in my tie dress and sheath (both gifted) all summer. Code HITHA20 gets you $20 off your first order!

Tribe Alive is another new favorite, and this linen mini and shirtdress is HEAVEN.

Some Black-owned sustainable brands I’m planning on ordering from are House Of Aama, Selva Negra, and Two Days Off.

Advice on differing money values between partners? Extreme source of tension.This is such a hard topic. Money enables your future plans, and so talking about what you want out of your life and your shared goals might be a jumping off point. Calculate what you’ll need saved by a certain period of time and talk about your different approaches on how to get there, and make a plan TOGETHER.

I would also interview financial coaches or advisors together, and pick someone you both are comfortable with and who has experience on helping families achieve similar goals.

Did you get the Our Place pan for your birthday? Does it live up to the hype?I’m going to get it when I return to New York in two weeks! Will keep you all posted!

Financial literacy…where do I start? Is there a starter for dummies I could use as a starting point?The best resource is Ladies Get Paid’s Money Courses. These would be the best place to start:

If you have student debt, I highly recommend Snowball Wealth (my portfolio company) to develop a solid plan to pay off your loans while building wealth. If you want some personal support, I highly recommend working with The Financial Gym. Their coaches work with you 1:1 to teach the basics of personal finance and creating a personal financial plan for you.

What do you think about the COVID antibody test?We rushed a bunch of them to approval to ramp up testing, and as such most aren’t as accurate as they should be. This article sums up all my feelings on the antibody testing right now.

How do you have such an excellent memory of handles/posts/content on IG? Any tips?When I was doing Q&A on IG Stories, I often typed up the answers on my computer and used the universal copy/paste between my MacBook and iPhone to post the answers! Writing them on my computer let me look up the handles and posts I planned to reference!

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