Ask Me Anything - August 21, 2020

How is it being back in NY?

It’s different, but it is SO GOOD TO BE HOME. I feel so much more settled being in our own space, and having our home team (caregivers and housekeeper) helping run things on the home front. I couldn’t do my job without them, and am eternally grateful for them.

Please share your most unpopular opinion.

Breaking Bad is a really boring TV show.

Advice for a mid-level professional with a decent salary but doesn’t enjoy the job

The first thing I’ll ask you “is it fulfillment, or do you hate your job?” If you have a job that offers you time and financial security, it’s worthwhile to use your non-work hours to find the things that really make you happy, and do them as much as possible.

Tips for making a career change?

If it’s the job, then I’d use this time to cultivate mentors/advisors/sponsors, and use that interaction to figure out your next move!

Do you have an assistant for your content business?

I do not - but I owe two interested candidates very overdue email responses. Clearly, I need one!

How to approach partner on tricky/sensible topics without fighting?

1) Bring it up when you’re both in a good mood.2) Present it in a way that affects BOTH of you, not just you.3) Before you do any of this, read Eve Rodsky’s Fair Play. It’s the book that transformed my marriage. And get your partner to read it as well.

Any recommendations for decorating home without having to go shopping in store?

Reach out to Havenly! It’s an incredible design service that works with you remotely to help use what you have and find the right pieces for your space. Their Mini service ($79) helps zhush a space, and their Full service ($129) helps you redesign a room from scratch.

How to ask partner to help with baby and home (he makes more $, thinks he’s doing fair share)

Please read Fair Playand this article that Eve Rodsky wrote on this very topic.

Fair Play helps couples create a more equitable household. It’s such an important book, and a fast and evidence-based one.

Would you rather share a meal with Michelle or Barack?

I’m going to say Barack, because I feel like I know Michelle so well because of her extraordinary memoir.

Thoughts on ‘bridesmaid proposal’ boxes (especially when we are all out of town)?

If it’s in your budget and you support a small business in the process, I say YES. And may I recommend Small Packages? It’s one of my portfolio companies, and it’s been so pivotal in helping me stay connected to my friends during this time.

Currently setting up a study area for my 3 year old. Do you have one for Rho? What does it look like and have?

We bought this desk over a year ago for Rho, and it’s one of the best purchases we made because it’s so easy to move from room to room. We also have this printer and have repurposed my Pixelbook for his lessons, and we set up Rho in a semi-quiet space for him to watch his lessons and do his worksheets. Where that space is can differ depending on what we have happening - sometimes it’s in the kitchen, sometimes it’s in our home office, and sometimes it’s in his room with one of us perched on his bed with our own laptop on our laps.

Advice for staying resilient through constant work challenges?

Something that helps me is to consider the absolute worse case scenario, and figure out how to make it something that is somewhat workable. Once I do that, I’m able to. map out other, better options that help me get motivated and engaged to get back to work.

I also recommend the book Micro-Resilience. Resilience is a practice, not a limitless well. We have to work on it, and this book is the most helpful I’ve ever found.

What’s something fun you’ve done lately or what’s sparked joy?

On a partisan note, watching the DNC has sparked a lot of joy. Especially the Roll Call vote.

On a nonpartisan note, pausing work every evening and leaving my phone in another room to cook and eat dinner and put my boys to bed. That family and cooking time was so restorative, and something I want to prioritize on a regular basis.

How do you plan to spend your day off?

Reading a book cover-to-cover outside, taking a nap, play tennis with my husband, and enjoying a meal outside somewhere. And leaving my phone in my nightstand drawer after posting the day’s #5SmartReads!

What are you needlepointing currently?

An RBG canvas by Thorn Alexander

Thank you for this community.

Thank YOU for making this community! I wouldn’t be here without you.

Hear about the California fires caused by lightening in the Bay Area? I’m close to one and it’s scary.

I have, and I’m so sorry and I’m thinking of you. If you’re just catching up on this news, here’s a great resource to get caught up.

Have you had a miscarriage? How did you get over it?

I did. Full answer to this question here.

Are you wiping off all groceries and waiting to open packages?

We open packages and unbag the groceries right at our front door, and immediately break down the boxes and bags and put them in the recycling bin outdoors.

Have you ventured out into the city? Do you change your clothes immediately after?

We’ve stayed local to the UWS, with the exception of my hair appointment. I do shower and change my clothes immediately after coming home.

Have you seen Indian Matchmaking on Netflix? Thoughts?

I answered that question here!

Finally starting therapy - excited and nervous. Tips on getting started and finding a therapist?

Approach finding the right therapist as dating. You might be lucky and find the one on the first meeting, or it may take a lot of first meetings before you find the right one.

My friends were the best resources for therapists. And Brown Girl Therapy has a database for therapists that would be a great place to start!

How do Ritual vitamins do on empty stomach. Any upset??

Zero upset! I’ve taken them after a huge email and on an empty stomach alike, with zero problems.

What would you say to the 28 year version of yourself?

You’re not wrong, but you’re not right. You definitely don’t know it all. Stay open and keep an open mind.

Any heel above 3” is a waste of your money.

Sheet set recommendation that’s cooling?

We bought a set of Buffy sheets and they are worth every penny. They’re the softest, most breathable sheets I’ve ever slept on and the only ones that don’t have me waking up to change my pajamas in the middle of the night from hot flashes.