#5SmartReads - October 12, 2022

Hitha on Day of the Girl, the desi girl era, and abortion rights' new allies

October 12, 2022

Today’s newsletter is brought to you by PepTalkHer

Yesterday was International Day of the Girl. And the day has never been more urgent or necessary as it is right now.

In 10 years, we’ll have more children born of incest, and more teenage girls will have delivered children than in the 10 years before. Fewer girls will have been educated than 10 years ago. Girls and women are dying simply for having an X chromosome and seeking the same freedoms as men in countries all over the world - including right here.

It is depressing as hell. And yet, we still hope and fight.

What I appreciate about this smart community is that we know we have work to do, both domestically and globally, in the fight for equality. That knowledge is a critical first step, as this article outlines.

The next step? Hope.

If the activists working on the front lines still hold hope and use it to fuel action, then the rest of us have no excuse. I personally am a longtime supporter of She’s The First, an incredible nonprofit that’s been on the frontlines for fighting for girls’ rights globally for thirteen years. If you’d like to support and take action, check out this post on Instagram to support them with your money, your miles, or even just a follow and engaging with them on social:

‘What is the best way for a man to manage a team of women?’ Start by actually listening (Fortune)

My friend and coach Komal is Fortune’s newest advice columnist (and I couldn’t think of a more perfect pairing), and her first column is 🔥🔥🔥.

The best advice is always the one we’ve heard repeated over again and regurgitated in cliches, and much of the subheadlines here fall in that category. The tactics, however, that Komal outlines on how to enact this advice is pure gold, and excellent for managers and those who are trying to manage up and build stronger relationships with senior folks in your company.

My favorite tactic in all of this wisdom is about asking for help and support and managing each individual in the way that works for each person (and for those managing up, you can tweak this to ask for feedback:

“A useful approach here is to ask candidly for help and support, says Scott. Let these folks know they are valued, and that you will look to them for support and guidance as you take on this new role. Value their expertise, and show your commitment to supporting their advancement. 

As you do this listening tour with your team, be clear about how you plan to use the information gathered, and reassure them that their identities will be protected so they know their jobs aren’t at risk depending on what they share. Then, take time to ask them how they like to be managed. Learn what working conditions allow them to thrive and do their best work. Get to know the moments they felt most supported by past leaders, and when they have felt undervalued.”

How to ask for feedback (in partnership with PepTalkHer)

I’m grateful for having begun my career at Cisco for a number of reasons. Learning how to ask for - and process - feedback is one of the greatest lessons I learned during my training there, and one that I think is critical in any person’s career success.

Some of the feedback will be helpful.Some of the feedback will be biased, inaccurate, and sometimes downright mean.

The latter is why many of us shy away from asking for it in the first place, and denies us the opportunities that the former would give us, especially in terms of growing our career.

The good thing is that it’s not too late to learn. And when you participate in PepTalkHer’s Know Your Worth Challenge, you’ll learn how to utilize that feedback and prepare your package to ask for a raise, a promotion, or prepare for a new job search.

Did anyone have Dave Portnoy being a feminist ally on their 2022 bingo card? Because I didn’t.

“We are literally going backwards in time,” he said in a self-described emergency press conference. “It makes no sense how anybody thinks it’s their right to tell a woman what to do with her body.”

My reaction is half shock, and half sing-screaming Lizzo’s “It’s About Damn Time.” Better late than never, gentlemen, and welcome to the fight. We need you.

Many Democrats are centering their 2022 midterm message on abortion rights (truly, protection of healthcare, as we’ve seen these abortion bans deny people who need certain medicines be denied them simply for having an X chromosome and being of reproductive age).

It is a worthy, necessary message. And if these messengers help turn out votes to protect these rights, I welcome them with my arms wide open.

And then I will hold onto them for dear life to keep them in this fight.

We can just keep playing “It’s About That Time” for this article too, because I’m here for the Desi Girl Era.

Regency desi girls. Superhero desi girls. And as I wrote about on Monday, desi girls getting to be messy and figure it out and not be the model daughter and model minority citizen.

We contain multitudes, and Western media is starting to show them in all their glory.

“The Desi girl era is a catalyst for both older and younger audiences to initiate tough conversations, break cultural stigmas, and highlight that South Asian women are just like any other woman, no matter how much the traditional taboos or roles Desi women have had in pop-culture try to veil it. Sexuality, self-expression, and their massive link to our identities is something that is often different to put out there in many traditional South Asian homes. Talking about sex is often taboo, and that means that when you think of sex-positive characters, South Asian women don’t usually come to mind.”

I’ve always considered myself a digital creator that happens to be South Asian, and not necessarily a South Asian creator, and for years I never talked about my culture or specific traditions or my own South Asian American experience in the fear that it would alienate my non-South Asian audience. Seeing more representation in books and shows and movies - and the wisdom and zero f*cks energy that motherhood brings - helped me see that narrative for the nonsense it was.

I’m here for the Desi Girl Era - and we welcome all of you and all your multitudes to join us.

Are we fully reliant on fossil fuels to power our lives? Mostly, but not quite.Are we ready to transition fully to renewable energy? No, but any step towards a transition is the right step, in my opinion.

And Babcock Ranch is a great example of what the end goal of this transition could look like.

Babcock Ranch’s utilities are all underground and is primarily powered by a 870-acre solar farm with solar “trees” placed throughout the neighborhood. During Hurricane Ian, the lights in the town stayed on, the water didn’t need to be boiled, and they remained connected to the Internet.

I really hope we use communities like these as a blueprint for rebuilding communities - both those affected by climate change disasters and by decades of systemic racism.

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